GUD BLOG: SINGLE POST

How to Prepare for a Blizzard

Blizzards are devastating natural disasters that can cause a great deal of damage in a short time. More importantly, they are an ideal excuse to take a guilt-free day off of work. Because blizzards are somewhat predictable, it’s possible to call-in the evening before, thus allowing you to get stupid drunk without even the pretense of setting your alarm. Follow these steps to prepare for Detroit Snowmageddon 2011:

1) Take weather alerts and warnings seriously and make damn well certain you are not going to run out of booze.

2) Create a disaster plan. For instance, if you do run out of booze, are your neighbors bitchin’ and willing to share theirs? If not, you should move to a cooler neighborhood.

3) Have an emergency blizzard kit ready at all times. A typical kit might contain one to seven bottles of good whiskey, habanero cheese, a variety of pornographic materials, tortilla chips and spicy hummus, a toothbrush, and Cajun peanuts.

4) Gather tools like shovels, ice picks, cherries and sweet vermouth. Leave them near your whiskey so you can replenish your Manhattan cocktail without too much fuss.

5) Plan for an alternate source of heat if you rely on electricity for heating. (see item 3)

6) Charge all electrical devices before a blizzard. Power outages could last for days and it’s very difficult to alert your facebook friends how much snow there is in your driveway if your laptop is dead.

Good luck out there.

Posted on 2011.02.01 by Todd Abrams at 1:27 pm
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